This is a picture of Bull Garlington's 'what hath God wrought' face.

"The Funniest writer

you've never heard of."

In The Full English, author Bull Garlington leads his family on a hilarious, gassy trek through Great Britain–haunted by a daily breakfast of be

Get the new travel memoir in which the author is trapped on a bus filled with death defying traveling elderly and their daily dose of environmentally hazardous gas for 15 days. Join Bull Garlington as he brings his highly religious mother to Stirling Castle where they are threatened by bespangled marital aids; listen to his [ATTORNEY] scream at him at the Cliffs of Moher; marvel with him at three in the morning collecting tart cards and dodging drunks on Tottenham Lane in Soho; watch in horror as he and his mother nearly burn down the only gay hotel on the Mersey.  Learn to Quaint!  Learn how to properly pronounce Edinburgh! Enjoy the only slightly biased review of a Mexican restaurant on the Royal Mile. And join him in his enduring, all consuming, furious hatred of his mortal enemy, the scourge of the Lullabus, the spinster of the Acheron: Mildred.

Bull's Books

Beat Coppity, Hot Doggity, No Ketchuppy Goodness.

The popular Chicago foodie guife to cop approved joints.

When the Beat Cop pauses from taking a bite out of crime, he takes a bite out of donuts, polish sausage, fried chicken, enchiladas, and omlettes...

Lake Claremont Press's 2004 award-winner, The Streets & San Man's Guide to Chicago Eats, delivered tongue-in-cheek style and food-in-mouth expertise by a certified expert of the City of Chicago's Department of Lunch: streets & sanitation department electrician Dennis Foley.


Now, Sgt. David J. Haynes of the Chicago Police Department, and his partner-in-crime, blogger Christopher Garlington, want to take on Foley's street-level guide to the best mom-and-pop food bargains in Chicago with their follow-up: The Beat Cop's Guide to Chicago Eats. "We're funnier, better-looking, and have the street smarts, girth, and weaponry to meet him in any alley, taqueria, or rib joint."

Award winningly, pants poopingly, nose pickingly hilarious.

The award-winning collection of Bull's ward-winning columns. 2013 IndieFab Humor Book of the year.

IndieFab's Humor Book of the year, 2013Edgy, rude, self-deprecating and—most importantly—hilarious, this collection of blog posts and columns from award-winning humorist Christopher “Bull” Garlington serves as uproarious evidence that fatherhood is hard, often messy, and always life-altering work. Where other parenting memoirs focus only on the diaper years,ᅠ Death by Childrenᅠ proves that a father’s job only gets more complicated as children move into adolescence and prepare to leave the nest. Parents—and dads in particular—will have no trouble recognizing their own daily struggles in the humorous and engaging anecdotes gathered in this book, including favorites "Happy Pulaski Day!" "Poison Control Poster Child Training," and "Raised by Google." (Sadly, out of print but still available from the author!)

Mind blowingly, ass kickingly, inspirationally amusing.

What started as a personal writing tool for the author has turned into an underground success story, helping new and established writers ramp up their productivity, stay focused, and build a library of finished work. If you're serious about becoming a professional writer, this guide book will be your new favorite tool.


This is not a book about the craft of storytelling or developing memorable characters. It's about the nut's and bolts of using common business metrics to boost productivity, developing the inventory of a professional author, and finishing your book–on time.


One of Garlington's most popular programs and currently a free download (check it out).

Book Bull, Baby




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